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Myths, Truths,

What Actually Happens in Therapy?

If you’ve spent any time online, you’ve likely seen strong opinions about therapy—often dismissive, cynical, or outright hostile. I’m not broken. I’m not crazy. Therapy is for weak people. I don’t need to pay someone to be my friend. understand where those reactions come from. There is a lot of misunderstanding about what therapy is—and just as much about what it isn’t.

Rather than trying to convince you of anything, I want to be honest about how this work actually looks. My hope is that clarity helps you decide whether this path is right for you.

Myth #1: “People go to therapy to get fixed.”

The Truth:
You aren’t broken—and I am not a mechanic.

Many people arrive in therapy assuming something in them needs repair, as if a faulty part could be replaced. But human lives don’t work that way. We are shaped by experience, relationship, loss, adaptation, and survival. You don’t fix that. You understand it.

Therapy isn’t about me fixing you. It’s about creating enough trust for you to be honest in ways you may not have been able to be before. For many people—especially those whose trust has been strained or betrayed —that takes time.

There’s a quiet irony in therapy: you sit with someone you don’t yet know and speak about things you’ve never said out loud. Not because others don’t care, but because those closest to us have their own hopes, fears, and investments.

Therapy offers something different—a place to be seen and heard without agenda or judgment. From there, clarity becomes possible. And clarity—not fixing—is what allows change to begin.

Myth #2: “The therapist is the expert who has all the answers.”

The Truth:
I have training—but you are the expert on your life.

It’s easy to imagine that the person across from you holds the key to your problems. While I do bring years of education and experience to the work, I don’t use it to tell you how to live.

I use it to listen carefully, notice patterns, ask thoughtful questions, and help you see what you may have missed. Often, people already know more than they realize. My role is to help you understand the what and the why—so you can decide what comes next.

Myth #3: “Therapy is just ‘rent‑a‑friend’ talk.”

The Truth:
The relationship is warm—but it isn’t casual.

Friends are invested in your life. They have their own perspectives, worries, and limits. They may soften hard truths or react from concern.

In therapy, the focus is entirely on you. I’m here to observe patterns, name what’s happening beneath the surface, and challenge you when it’s helpful. It’s a different kind of relationship—one designed to support honest reflection and real change, not mutual care

taking.

Myth #4: “If I go to therapy, it means I’m weak or unstable.”

The Truth:
Therapy requires courage—not weakness.

There’s a lingering belief that therapy is only for people in crisis. In reality, it often attracts people who are willing to look at their lives honestly.

Strength isn’t the absence of struggle. It’s the willingness to face it. Many people—especially men—are taught to carry stress quietly, to push through, to handle everything alone. Over time, that cost shows up in the body, in relationships, and in how life feels.

Seeking therapy isn’t a failure of self‑reliance. It’s a strategic decision to address what’s accumulating rather than waiting for it to break something important.

Myth #5: “Therapists want you to stay in therapy forever.”

The Truth:
My goal is to help you no longer need me.

Therapy isn’t meant to be endless. The aim is to help you become more grounded, more aware, and better equipped to navigate life on your own.

We’re not here to live in the past—we’re here to understand it well enough that it no longer runs the present. We’ll check in along the way to make sure our work is still serving you.

Myth #6: “Therapy should fix things quickly.”

The Truth:
Change is a practice, not a one‑time event.

Some people feel discouraged when things don’t resolve in a few sessions. But the patterns we’re working with often took years to form.

Therapy isn’t something that happens only in the room. Much of the real work shows up in daily life—how you respond differently, what you notice, what you choose not to repeat. It deserves time and patience.

Myth #7: “Therapy is only for people in serious crisis.”

The Truth:
Therapy is for anyone who wants to live with more clarity.

Many people come to therapy not because things are falling apart, but because they’re tired of repeating the same patterns—or because they want to navigate transitions with more intention.

It can be preventive rather than reactive. Often, starting earlier makes the work gentler and more effective.

Myth #8: “Therapy is too expensive / not worth the money.”

A More Honest Truth:
Most people aren’t choosing whether to pay a cost—they’re choosing which cost to live with.

Therapy doesn’t offer guarantees or quick fixes. What it asks for is time, attention, and willingness to face what’s been avoided. That can feel expensive—not just financially, but personally.

Many people already pay for unaddressed pain through strained relationships, repeated cycles, quiet dissatisfaction, or living smaller than they need to. Those costs are familiar and easy to normalize.

Therapy makes the cost visible. It concentrates it.
The real question isn’t whether therapy is worth the money—it’s whether continuing as you are is costing you something you can no longer afford to lose.

Myth #9: “Therapy looks like what I see on TV.”

The Truth:
Real therapy is usually quiet and cumulative.

Progress often looks subtle: noticing a pattern, reacting less intensely, sleeping better, speaking more honestly. The work is collaborative and paced to your readiness. It’s not dramatic—but it lasts because it comes from your own insight.

Myth #10: “I should be able to handle everything on my own.”

The Truth:
Real self‑reliance includes knowing when to bring in help.

We don’t expect people to diagnose complex problems alone in other areas of life. Emotional and relational health is no different.

Therapy doesn’t take away autonomy—it strengthens it. The most capable people I work with are often those who value having an objective, thoughtful ally.

In the End

When we strip away clinical language and unrealistic expectations, therapy becomes something simple and serious:
two people sitting together, making sense of life, and choosing a more honest way forward.

If you’re curious about what that might look like for you, I’m open to a conversation. We can take our time and see whether we’re a good fit.